Letting go of bitterness and hate

Feeling hate toward perpetrators is part of the recovery process from abuse, but ''counter-dehumanization'' is not a psychological victory and can perpetuate the cycle of dehumanization. Twenty survivors of extreme trauma-from abuse, accidents, serious illness, death of a child-who made positive transformations in the wake of the trauma were interviewed. All of them found a way to let go of bitterness. Some of them realized the destructive quality of hate in their lives and made a conscious attempt to alter their thought processes. Others learned that to forgive did not mean to condone unjust behavior but let go of their need to judge themselves and others. Some helped other survivors and made a commitment to transforming themselves by finding new priorities and values.