Inattentive and contented: Relationship commitment and attention to alternatives

Commitment to a relationship is affected by the quality of one's alternatives to that partnership, but one must be aware of those alternatives in order for them to be influential. In a study of the links between attention to one's alternatives and relational outcomes, participants described their relationships, inspected slides of attractive opposite-sex targets, and, 2 months later, reported whether their relationships had ended. Satisfaction with, investment in, commitment to, and adjustment in a dating relationship were negatively correlated with reports of vigilance toward desirable alternatives to that relationship. In the lab, those who had earlier claimed to be attentive to alternatives really did spend more time inspecting pictures of attractive opposite-sex targets. Moreover, there was no better predictor of relationship failure than high attentiveness to alternatives. Inattentiveness may be a maintenance mechanism that helps to preserve and protect desirable relationships. Even if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, happy gardeners will be less likely to notice.