SHAME, ANGER, AND CONFLICT - CASE-STUDY OF EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE

This paper proposes a new theory and method for understanding emotional violence: conflict results from threats to the social bond. Protracted conflict may be a result of social-emotional separation and unacknowledged shame. A single case is used to analyze the dynamics of marital conflict. Discourse is analyzed during an actual quarrel; sequences of emotion are traced prior to moments of escalation. The results indicate that not only did anger occur during conflict, but also it was preceded by unacknowledged shame. Sequences within and between spouses alternated from emotional separation and shame, to anger, to disrespect, to further separation and shame, and so on. Interaction in this couple was marked by alienation rather than solidarity. © 1991 Plenum Publishing Corporation.