SEXUAL ATTRACTION AND ROMANTIC LOVE - FORGOTTEN VARIABLES IN MARITAL-THERAPY

The purpose of this paper is to address the lack of attention in the marriage therapy literature to romantic love and sexual attraction. Although most couples marry because of romantic love and tend to divorce when they "fall out of love," few guidelines are available to therapists concerning how to deal with love as an issue in therapy. In contrast to models of marriage therapy which focus on rational skill development, the model presented here is based on the assumption that marriage problems are emotional in nature and that the success of marital therapists is dependent upon skill in addressing emotional states. Based on recent findings in neurobiology, this model contends that the affective dimension of love is precognitive and similar to the attachment between infant and parent. By providing nonverbal and precognitive experiences within therapy that can alter the emotional pattern of couples, therapists can increase the likelihood of a successful outcome.